Pizza & Sex

Well that corned beef was one economical meat purchase. This was the last of it. I was dubious about this one but Ireland + Italy = Yum. I don't know why I was shocked everything is yummy turned into a Tortilla Pizza. It is great for repurposing leftovers - something us weight loss surgery people tend to have a lot of. I love to take home restaurant leftovers for this purpose.

Shelly's Irish Tortilla Pizza - Mission Carb Balance Whole Wheat Fajita Size Tortilla topped Havarti Cheese, leftover Corned Beef, Green Onion, Irish Cheddar, a sprinkle of Parmesan and Italian Seasonings.

The Eggface Pizza Porn Gallery

How to make them: Preheat oven to 375 degrees. I put 1 drop literally of olive oil on the cookie sheet and spread it around. Place tortilla on cookie sheet. Spread the sauce on the tortilla (pesto, marinara, alfredo, bruschetta sauce, BBQ sauce, hummus, ricotta cheese, (peanut butter or ricotta for dessert pizzas ), whatever.) Put a slice of cheese on top of the sauce and then I add any combination of toppings or leftovers I can find bumping around the fridge. Sprinkle with grated Parmesan if desired. Pop in oven. 10 minutes exactly. Have the oven hot before you do the toppings **Do not let them sit. Pop them in the oven right away or the toppings will make the tortilla soggy versus the yummy crispy porn pictured above.


How much is a serving?

The answer is: serving size can vary. What I eat as a 3 1/2+ year weight loss surgery post-op is a very different amount than a 3 month, 6 month, post-op.

For me if the toppings are protein dense like the Philly Cheese Steak Tortilla Pizza or Meatball or Chicken then I eat 2 wedges and call it a day. If they are lighter just cheeses, veggies or pepperoni. I can eat the whole pizza but remember these are 6" fajita size tortilla (not typical size tortillas) If it's lighter toppings and I'm having a scoop of bean salad or a green salad with it I eat 2 wedges.

My standard line when it comes to portion size is: go with what your medical posse recommends.

What's the nutritional value on (insert Eggface recipe)?

I don't put the nutritional info on my recipes because frankly that can vary so widely. I use full fat cheeses (the good stuff) others may use low fat or (horror) non fat, the % fat on beef, differences in packaged products, brands of protein, etc. will change the info dramatically.

I eat full fat (cheese, mayo, butter, olive oil, etc.) Fat = flavor. I eat it in moderation (thanks to my pouch) if I ate Reduced Fat or Fat Free (aka nuclear waste) I wouldn't be satisfied and in an hour I'd be thinking about my next meal. I eat yummy, lip smacking stuff so I never feel like I'm on a diet or suffering in my new life.

What I do when I need to find the nut info is go to a site like type in each individual ingredient, add up those totals and divide by the # of servings I get from the dish. It's not exact but it's close enough for me.

Where do you get the Mission Carb Balance Whole Wheat Fajita Size Tortillas?

I get mine at Albertson's, Vons, Winco. If you don't have those stores near you contact the Mission Tortilla web site. Here's another "crust" option.

More Eggface Pizza Porn

On another note... Ugggh Jesse James is just about the most stupid man on the planet. I was so sad when the news broke yesterday of him cheating on Sandra Bullock. I just blogged about the beautiful things she had said about him the other day. I'm so sad for her. As a single girl who still hasn't found her soul mate this does not give me hope... I know, I know Hollyweird relationships are different. BUT I also have a real world beautiful friend dealing with the same thing and all I can say is becoming a crazy cat lady is looking better and better everyday.

Note to self: Get that cat ;)


Anonymous said...

Love is out there Shelley, I promise...I have been married for 15 years and we only dated for 2 as far as the "cat lady", get a all can walk on the beach!!! Going to the beach now with my German Shepherd...enjoy your day....

Lori said...


There are good men out there. Sometimes it takes you a moment to notice them, as they are not usually full of the self-confidence and arrogance that gets everyone's attention. I had to ask my husband out first... he was too shy. We were engaged within a month, and married within the year. Now we have two beautiful children and have been married 13 years. Don't give up yet! But cats are a pretty viable option too ...

kareninflorida said...

You can walk on the beach with a cat too, you know; you just have to carry him (or her.) Actually, speaking as a crazy cat lady, I imagine that owning a cat is very much like having a man. My cat is very demanding & needy, yet he has no problem ignoring me completely once his needs are met & he's had enough. LOL

Now on to a more important topic: pizza! I just wanted to suggest that you can crisp your tortilla (or Flatout wrap or Joseph's lavash [found at Walmart]) in the oven *before* putting the sauce & toppings on. That helps to keep things less soggy. Also, I just figured out I can make a stromboli by covering my base w/toppings (sans sauce), heating until melted, then roll it all up, slice in half & dip in heated pizza sauce! It's kind of a different take on regular pizza. Lastly, I just found a recipe online for a low-carb pizza crust made w/cheese, eggs & "pork rind flour" (crushed pork rinds.) I'll have to let y'all know how it turns out. :)

Anonymous said...

Just to let you know, I found my love in Iraq, I went over to work for Halliburton and he was a Marine. Best thing I ever did but slightly drastic if you are just looking for love.


Anonymous said...

Just goes to show that even the so called "beautiful people" have their problems too. Love my cat and love my boyfriend, but more importantly - love me. That will get you through anything - along with a lovely margarita now and then :-)

T2Nashville said...

I agree, Shelly. Jesse James is an idiot! Have you seen the picture of that slut he messed around with? What was he thinking? After all the wonderful things she said about him...obviously, he's not as wonderful as she thinks. I hope she kicks him to the curb. She deserves so much better.

And as a fellow single chick, I think we may be the lucky ones. If there are so many great guys out there, why aren't we finding them? I really don't think there are that many, and I personally am happy to stay single and happy right now. Better than the crap Sandra and many of my friends are dealing with!

Linz said...

The pizzas look great Shelley! Thanks for sharing them. As for Jesse James, a gay woman I guess I shouldn't comment. I've found that many of my friends are going through the same situation though, both gay and straight men and women. It's a problem for everyone. But love it out there. You'll find yours, be patient and your love will come to you.

Connie said...

I'm ahead of ya - I already have the cat!


leendadll said...

I dumped my cheating man in favor of Fanatic Feline Femme status 6 months ago.

Personally, I go into relationships assuming men will cheat - however, to their surprise, that's NOT the same as accepting & putting up with it!!

Chelsea's Mom said...

As I recently read on a FB page, "If it's got tires or testicles, you're gonna have trouble with it!" I am a straight woman, but there are days when I wonder if maybe I should switch teams! I am not actively looking for "him" - but see enough of "them" to remind me of why I'm not looking so hard!! Just get one cat to start with and see what happens. I have one and I'll tell ya, one box of litter is enough!!

Anonymous said...

It's so unfortunate that that so many men and women are looking for someone or something to make them happy when in fact, we are the only ones that can make us happy. It would just be nice to be able to share our happiness with someone. I was married for 12 years and tried for 7 to have a baby. After many failed attempts we tried foster care and for a short period housed a brother and sister. Six months later I was pregnant. Two years later he left me for the babysitter, married and had another child. I stayed single for 3 years and then met my best friend and to the shock of everyone, married him after 2 months. We have been married for 10 years. In the meantime my ex-husband has gotten divorced. Love is out there, but if you can't find it, make yourself happy and live your best life. You touch so many people on a daily basis with your website.I can't wait to get home daily to see what you have for me. Thank you for all you do. You can choose to be happy or choose to be sad, the amount of work is the same. Take care and thank you for all you do!

Shelley, Flagstaff, AZ

Roberlie Lachance said...

You are looking fantastic!! Also you have some wonderful ideas for meals! Thank you so much for sharing them! I will be sending my mother to this site.. I keep telling her she needs to use her talents for good rather than evil.. maybe now she can learn how! LOL She's a fantastic cook.. JUST LIKE PAULA DEEN LOL. And I do mean JUST LIKE.. hehe.. see the dilemma?

Tawni said...

HI Shelly
I was just curious about your "full fat" diet. It makes perfect sense to eat yummy foods in small amounts, rather than yucky cardboard tasting stuff.
I was just wondering if you ate full fat from the very beginning, or only after you had lost a lot of your weight?

You look fabulous by the way, and I can't wait to try out your recipes once I'm off liquids. I just hope I can find equivalent ingredients in South Africa.

Thank you for your inspiration


Michelle "Shelly" said...

Thank you Tawni, Full fat from about 8 weeks out in moderation of course but yep only the good stuff... now I rarely use things like mayo for example... I use Greek Yogurt for chicken salads, etc. but full fat cheeses, olive oil every day.