Monday, September 3, 2007

A is for...



A is for Airplane - I dreaded flying and avoided it like the plague. I even quit a job that began to require to much of it. The horror stories associated with the airplane started before I even left the house. Size 26/28 garments took up a lot of room. Even weekend trips turned into several suitcase productions. No little carry-on for me. Soooooo I get to the airport where if I was traveling with others the comments would start "Wow!?! you pack a lot" "You do know it's just for the weekend right?" Ummm yeah. Thanks.

On to the ticket counter. Now I've never actually had them make me pay for another seat but I've had a few threats of it and comments like: "Will one seat be adequate for you ma'am?" Southwest Airlines was the worst for this and I actually stopped flying them because of it.

We're off right? wrong. Upon entering the plane, I would discreetly ask the flight attendant to give me a seat belt extender and often it was passed quietly to me but every once and awhile I'd get a flight attendant who would call down the length of the plane to her co-worker "Janet do you know where the seat belt exxxxxxttttteeeeennnnnddderrrrr is?" Can I die now? OK I've got my extender and heading down the aisle. Here come the stares and nasty looks by the people that see a fat chick coming and think "Please don't let her have seat 9B" and then "Damn!" with a look of disgust when you do indeed have seat 9B.

Finally you are snug as a bug in your seat and ready for takeoff. Well it's all good until drinks and food begin. Try balancing a cup of coffee and a hot meal on your lap because the tray table down and my body in the seat weren't happening at the same time. I prayed no one was sitting next to me or someone I knew so I could share their tray table. Now I won't even begin to talk about if God forbid I had to pee.





A is for Assbone - So I've lost 138 pounds so far and I discovered something. I have bones and they aren't big like I once claimed. I used to say, "I'm big boned" but you know what I'm not they are actually kind of small and jut out. It's been nice getting to know these new protrusions... collarbones, ribs, hips. Well all except one... my assbone. I know the proper term is coccyx but I prefer assbone and it begins with an "A". Well my assbone hurts like hell. I can't find a chair I feel comfortable in. I am constantly shifting from side to side. Fuhgetabout sitting on park benches. How do the skinny bitches do this??

I asked my Dr. about my assbone pain and he said, "Well Michelle you've got a lot less padding there." Well shit 10 years of med school for that answer. He also told me I needed to exercise more and develop my glute muscles and then talked about buying a pillow that looked like a flippin donut. Like being fat I didn't have enough embarrassing moments to last a lifetime now you want me to carry around a donut-shaped ass cushion. Yeah no thanks.

16 comments:

Dana said...

I've been reading your blog for a while - such a fan. Read this post some time back and now I can relate. I've lost 155 pounds and God does my butt hurt. And it's not a normal feeling...so I'm curious, did this get better? Help! Looking forward to hearing your wisdom on this matter. Ha! :)

Michelle "Shelly" said...

Hey Dana, No it hasn't gotten better unfortunately. I think I'm just getting better and redistributing my weight... I shift a lot. LOL. Congratulations on your weight loss!!! ~Michelle

Linda said...

Assbone pain tells me that I am on the right track. I went to see the movie Avatar twice. It was 2.5 hours and I was wiggly for sure. Might have to investigate some tush pads to carry with me. And these were some nice cushy theater seats too!

KiKi said...

I saw a woman on Bid Medicine with an ass bone issues post op, she had it removed because she couldn't sit or ride a bike or anything. The plastics guy took it out, he said it was a common issue with people who loose a lot of weight bc we've had a lifetime where the assbone (PS I love that you call it this) had adapted to the "Exta padding"
Good luck! P.S. I'm going to get Max Protein this weekend, I'm in a HUGE Stall and -78!! YEEEEP.

Joyce said...

Shelley,

Had my surgery end of August and am down 76 in 4 months--very exciting for sure. Since then, I have been a frequent (daily!) visitor to your site and am so grateful for the recipes, good humor and wisdom.

In fact, I recently shared the site with a friend who has also had surgery and now we are working to share meals based on your recipes! We prepare dishes and then split and share--this way we get to try more recipes more quickly, and of course, we now have a great support system in each other.

I tell everyone I know about your blog and how helpful it has been--recipes, funny anecdotes, good humor--even if you have not had surgery it is a great resource!

Have you ever been approached to write a book? I can see this turning into a wonderful cookbook...

Best,
Joyce

KatfromStat said...

OMG... I so suffer, I lost 136 lbs, and was told by a doctor I can either gain some weight back (not an option), have a Botox injection, or surgery to remove it. Well to say I go around with pillows and have learned how to situate the way I sit.

MacMadame said...

I know this is an old post, but I'm so glad I found it. I've been told my glutes are weak by my PT and now I have even more incentive to get them up to par if it will also help with my assbone issues. I just thought I had to suffer forever.

Christie said...

Every Sunday I thank God I'm Catholic. If I had to sit through the whole service I'd never be able to get up because of the pain. Luckily we have that up, down, kneel calisthenics thing going on. But if the homily is too long, I always wince getting up. I always wonder what Father's thinking.

Selyndria said...

If you're still having trouble with your assbone, try doing the yoga position called fish pose. I've lost 174 pounds so far since my surgery in October, 2009. Fish pose showed me how to sit correctly on my sitz bones and I've never once experienced the coccyx pain.

Anonymous said...

Contrats on your sucess with your weight loss, I am 8.5 mo out of surgery, have lost about 135 lbs still a few to go, but have both assbone issues and back pain issues, but would do it all over again in a heart beat. I am happy to have stumbled on to your site, and thank you for taking the time to share your journey. I have a great surgeon with a very good support and after care staff, but it is still nice hear from others who have had such great sucess as you. My biggest concern today is when I reach my goal will I be able to keep it off.
Best to you and again Congrats with your sucess.
Jerry

Ordinary Girl said...

I was directed here because of today's hyperlink to assbone. However, reading the A is for airplane almost has me in tears. I felt all those same feelings of embarrassment about flying. And heaven forbid if I was also sitting next to a person-of-size; neither of us were comfortable and spilled over the seats. Awful. Humiliating. :(

ShrinkingJustine said...

The donut shaped ass pillow made me crack up!!!!!! I know this is old but I had to comment :)

xo.Lisha said...

I am just finding these posts after following this blog for a while. And aside from being at most inspirational, a cooking/baking Genius...You are like a " Blog Goddess "... Seriously, do you write books? because I am buying them. lol.

Your blog keeps me on track.. I keep resorting to it when I feel that I am failing or need a pick me up.

I am glad that I found your blog! Thank you for writing it.

Jess said...

I just stumbled upon your blog today and have been saving pages upon pages of your recipes since I am just now 10wks post op from my RNY surgery. I also just turned 24 and am determined to live the rest (hopefully majority) of my life without the "extra padding"! Down 40lbs so far, and I can relate to a lot of your pre-op posts! Hopefully I will be able to get to your siez eventually, you're gorgeous, keep it up!

theskinnygirlproject said...

Hey Shelly :)
I'll be going on a trip 2 weeks before my surgery and I'm already terrified about the plane! Hopefully I can be more worried about my assbone soon :)
You are an inspiration xo

cls90803@yahoo.com said...

Wow--thank goodness I stumbled across this while browing around this morning. Thought it was just me, ha ha. I actually even had Assbone trouble before surgery, so it's really bad now. I even have trouble on my own cushy couch. I'd also like to let you know--the cushions don't even work. I got one (super-expensive) with a u-shaped cutout, disguised by the cover of the cushion, for my work chair. Doesn't really do much good for the Assbone situation, although it is slightly more cushy on the rest of the tushy. So, don't waste your money, peeps, on special cushions is my experience.