I have been in a funk for the past few weeks. Not a good James Brown, George Clinton funk either... a nothing sounds good, blah, depressing songs on repeat sort of funk.

I've been feeling like I want "something" but seriously if you asked me what I wouldn't even know. New career, new location, a relationship, dessert... who knows?! Then I read something the other day and I thought crap I sooooo do this and I NEED TO STOP...

When your "There" has become a "Here" you will simply obtain another "There" that will again look better than "Here."
Hmmmm there is a lesson in that... maybe I need to just enjoy the here and now. Stop and smell the roses or Starbuck's or whatever...

How zen.

I'll tell you the hardest part of this weight loss surgery journey has been the emotional side. Getting your guts rearranged, learning new ways of eating, making lifestyle changes, exercising... those were the easy parts (for me at least.)

It's the coming to the realization that not everything that was shitty in my life was because I was fat that has been hard. Pre-op I used to say, "If only I wasn't fat..." or "When I lose the weight life will be..." Guess what? I'm "There" and slapped with the sad realization that losing the weight was not a cure-all. Don't get me wrong it cured a lot but not all.

OK have at it... what do I need??? therapy, drugs, some good sex (bonus points for readers that suggest this), a vacation that doesn't include stitches, to stop my angsty whining???

I really do try and enjoy the "Here." I have a great here. I am blessed but sometimes those damn "There" thoughts creep in and funkify me. Time to go to the beach I think.

This would be the rambling part of "The World According to Eggface - Recipes and Rambling of a Former Fat Chick."

Welcome to my world.

Highlights of the weekend:

* Went to the Farmer's Market and got oodles of good stuff.

* I just came in from stringing twinkle lights on my metal gazebo thingee outside so I'm going to BBQ tonight under the "stars"

* Experimented a lot in the kitchen and took lots of food porn.

Listening to: Something depressing on repeat ;) No really.