Monday, April 23, 2012

Ramblings: I'm worth the fight.

I used to blame a lot on my weight. If only I wasn't fat all the sh!t in my life would be gone with the pounds. I don't mean the health issues I was dealing with... GERD, Sleep Apnea, High Blood Pressure those sucked but I mean the dark stuff, that leads some of us to medicate with food.

With a little help from weight loss surgery, lots of changing how I eat and move, and freedom from the health issues that were taking their toll on my body and spirit... I lost the weight.

Guess what? When the weight was gone and some sh!t was still sh!tty, there was no more saying "if only I lost the weight XYZ would be better, awesome, PERFECT..."

A light starts glaring on that dark stuff, those issues in our life that contributed to our obesity. Call it a wake-up call, an epiphany, a realization but you start to see how the fat wasn't the cause, it was the effect.

Now what? You have some choices to make... hide from the issues (did a little of that), deny them (did a little of that), or face 'em and start chipping away at them one by one (it was time.)

I've said it before on the blog and it bears repeating...

You can't continue the same behavior and expect a different result.

I often say it when discussing my having to give up a few trigger foods I had no control over but it is also apropos to working on the issues that led us on this journey. The why's of why we gained weight. If the why's (and WE ALL HAVE DIFFERENT WHY'S) are still around or pop up in your life from time to time, it's time to start chipping away at them because NOT DEALING with them... well, we all know where that got us.

The same way you chose weapons to help you fight obesity (surgery, exercise, healthy food, etc.) find a weapon to help you fight the dark stuff (family, friends, doctors, therapy, support groups, healthier outlets, etc.) It's scary, hard, and painful. I can tell you though with every chip I make at my dark stuff, at my why's, I gain a little more courage and strength to chip some more. Will I ever be done? Not sure, but I'm worth the fight.

Cyber hugs from one fellow fighter to another.

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22 comments:

Anonymous said...

Excellent post, Michelle.

I continue to work on MY issues also. I've learned a lot about myself these 7 years....am I there yet, NO but I know now that I'm worth it and will continue to fight and deal with my stuff.

Dana

Lap Band Gal said...

Amen Sista! :) Great post

Lissa said...

I so needed this today. I have been dealing with the old Why's lately and seeing old behaviours come up. It makes me feel great that I'm not the only one dealing with them and that I'm making the right decision to not avoid but attack them to replace with better behaviour. I don't want to be 400 lbs again!

Laurie Toth said...

Reading your posts definitely is an inspiration to stay on the straight and narrow path. Thanks for reminding me what is important-- ME!

Laurie Toth said...

Thanks for sharing the lessons learned through your journey. This post is a great reminder for my personal journey. I need to take care of me first!

Trish said...

Yes! Exactly right!

RNLeslie said...

While I'm not glad to hear that you still struggle, it does sort of help me remember that my mentality will forever have to be different now. In it for the long haul... thanks as always for your insight!

LuLu Kellogg said...

You don't know how much I needed to read this post today.

Onward and upward!

Thank you!!

Irma B said...

So true, your post of today!

It also shows that you're already halfway; if you have this knowledge!

Keep up the good spirit (for yourself) and your honest blogs and lovely recipes (for all the other post-ops and food-lovers)!!!!!

Best regards from the Netherlands,

Irma

DiZneDiVa said...

Great post...

Debbie RN said...

Wow, great post, it hit home!

Anonymous said...

This could not have come at a better time; my "why" ghosts have been creeping up a lot lately. Thanks for the post.

I'm worth it too.

Anonymous said...

Wow, I really needed to hear this today. You have re-inspired me. Thank you so much! I love your site and look forward to it daily. I can not express enough how much your insight, humor and recipes have helped me get through this journey. Thank you Shelley, you are helping us all more than you may ever know.

shellsbell6765@msn.com

dawn said...

same here…this couldn't have come at a better time. thank you so much.

Anonymous said...

Perfect timing....thank you so much for being there with us all, you make each step that much easier and remind us everyday that we are worth it and can do it. Bless you and thank you

Melanie

taigsgirl said...

Just found your blog and this hit me hard today! Although it's not "easy" to lose the weight it's even more difficult to keep it off when those issues don't change. I'm back to the "nothing fits" stage and really needed this reality check. Thank You!

Donita said...

Dark Stuff? You do a very good impersonation of a happy-go-lucky, very sorted and centred individual who knows what she wants from life and is not only (mostly) content, but happy to share bits of her life with complete strangers on the off chance her viewpoint might be of help. Generous. Maybe it's not an impersonation. Eggy you are a little ray of sunshine to me. I love seeing your Farmers Market finds, your quirky food, your cute applique bags, Your Mum, who's quite lovely, and reminds me of my own, and your passion for bariatric interventions. I even love reading about your plumbing disasters - in a sympathetic way. I don't know what your particular dark stuff is, but I hope it withers into a speck of insignificance and disappears up it's own fundament.

Lisa said...

Shelly, sometimes you just hit the spot girl! This was what I needed today...2 1/2 yrs out and letting old ghosts sneek back into my life along with allowing a grazing habit to return...I think you got through to me today...thanks

Alicia said...

Enjoying a slice of your Peaches and Cream 5-Minute Cake for breakfast while reading this post. You're a blessing, no doubt about it. Thank you for sharing your wisdom; from delicious recipes to encouragement to address dark stuff.

Theresa aka Tessie Rose said...

Great post!!!

Goodbye Zaftig said...

Wow, this is exactly what I've been thinking of lately. As I'm only nearly 8 months out from my surgery I find that not stuffing down the feelings has made a huge impact on me. It is kind of scary to see the issues that I ate over still there and still as challenging. But I don't want to gain back the 124 lbs I've already lost and, in fact, I want to lose another 45 lbs. It's nice to know that I am not the only one who has to deal with this!

Kris said...

Like so many have mentioned, I needed to read this today. Not one of my best days, on many accounts, but one important one is that I've gained a few pounds. I've also been too sick lately to exercise although I'm finally getting better and starting to add some back in. Thanks for the reminder of what I'm doing & what I'm not doing, to make this work. Thank you for the inspiration you give.